Editor’s Note From Sedrick Gilbert: I Don’t Live There Anymore

I’m no longer burdened by the emotional trauma of being molested as a child.

I’m not keeping hurt and pain bottled up inside of me.

I’m not the frightened little boy, afraid to go asleep for fear of what might happen to me.

I’m not the kid devasted by his parents splitting up.

I’m not still reeling from having my life turned upside down as a child.

I’m not the person who too often found himself drowning in depression.

I’m not the person who used my words to harm and cut down others.

I’m not the lost soul who attempted suicide.

I’m not the person who took dangerous and unnecessary  risks.

I’m not the person who thought there was nothing for me to live for.

I’m not that promiscuous person seeking temporary carnal satisfaction.

I’m not the person who found it hard to trust in others.

I’m not the person who thought the best years of my life were behind me.

I’m not the person still caught up in memories of my high school sweetheart.

I’m not the person who allowed drugs to become the focus of my life.

I’m not the person who shut himself off from the world.

I’m not the person who let a love of drugs to replace his love for people.

I’m not the person who found it hard to forgive.

I’m no longer the person who lives excessively without restraint.

I’m not the person who taught he had it all figured out and that his plans for himself were all that mattered.

I’m not the person who felt he could do it all on his own.

I’m not the person who didn’t know how to deal with letdowns and disappointments.

I’m not the person who lashed out and blew up at other people.

I’m not the person who carried grudges and harbored animosities.

I’m not the person filled with resentments towards those who wronged me.

I’m not the person afraid to stand and live in my own truth.

I’m not the person who made assumptions and judged others.

I’m not the person who was at his lowest when paralyzed and confined to his bedroom, unable to walk.

I’m not the person triggered by hurt and pain from issues and matters left unresolved.

I’m not the person who didn’t recognize that each day I am alive is a blessing and gift.

I’m not the person who let the past hamper and block gratitude for the present.

I’m not the person who, although always intelligent and book smart, was naïve and unknowing of God and His Word.

I’m not the person who felt he didn’t deserve to be loved.

I’m no longer the person being weighed down by the baggage and hurt of my past.

I’m not the person who was lost and without direction, not knowing what my purpose and calling was in life.

I’m not the person who didn’t realize how much truly and fully letting go and giving my troubles and worries to God would be the best decision I ever would make.

I’m not the person who hadn’t experienced the power of the Holy Spirit.

That’s who I no longer am. I now am a man of God, Jesus Christ my Savior, filled with and guided by the Holy Spirit. Where I used to be I don’t stay anymore, and have no desire to go back to. That place has been condemned and bulldozed, my path now assured and clear on a higher journey of positive purpose and submission to the Lord. Thank God for bringing me through the wilderness, out of the dark into the light, for forgiving me, restoring me, and healing me. Once was lost, now found. Was blind, but now can see, all because of the Lord and Jesus Christ.

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